Teen Geeks : Star Trek Encounters
by The Lightning Knight
Summary: Can the powerful creatures in the Star Trek world survive some teenaged nerds? THIRD CHAPTER: Prank-Calling Starships.
1. Instant Messaging With The Borg

A/N : This is based on me and my friends being weird on a chat room. And sorry about the Michael Jackson joke if offends anyone.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Star Trek.

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Dylan, a crazy teenager, is waiting for his genius friend Allen to get online.

"Where is that nerd?"

An incoming voice message from an unknown source comes onto the Instant Messenger.

"We are the plague that haunts your instant messenger."

"Huh?"

"We are the Borg. Lower your shields and prepare to be assimilated."

"AH!"

"Resistance is futile." One of the voices continued after this, "Mwahahahahahaha!"

"I'm not resisting," Dylan said, "The Borg are awesome! I wanna join!"

"We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own!"

"Um…. Cool!"

"You will die!"

"My memory will live on in the Borg computer mind, or whatever it's called, and be used to conquer my race." He said with glee. "YAY!"

The two Borg, now inside his house, stared at him.

"I want a cool Borg name! Like, um…. Bob!"

"How about two of eight?"

"Huh?"

"That's how the Borg do names."

"Okay."

"WE ARE THE BORG!"

Dylan thought for a moment. "I changed my mind. The Borg is gay." He then shot them with a phaser.

"We…. Will…. Adapt."

"And I am not really Dylan, I am…." He pulled off the mask of the teen to reveal…. "Q!"

"No." The Borg insisted, "You're Michael Jackson."

"Michael Jackson is already IN the Borg!" Q insisted. "That's why you've been taking such an interest in adding young males lately!"

"Then why are we trying to assimilate YOU?"

"Because I'm an all-powerful being and with me, you can do anything."

"Like, Look at…. Little boys?"

"Ha! I knew that you added Michael Jackson!" Q said.

"WE ARE THE BORG! WE ARE IN ERROR! We aaaaarrrreee" they started to make a dying noise, "the BOOOooooorrrggg."

"Too easy. And I'm not really Q. I'm…." he pulled off another mask. "Dylan! A little confusion, and reverse psychology, worked."

Meanwhile, at a near by Starship….

An Ensign was looking at the radar. "Captain, the Borgs are dying."

"Really? Who did it?" replied the captain.

"Some teenager named Dylan."

The captain paused for a few second.

"Awesome."

Back on Earth….

"Okay," Dylan said, "Now that that's over…. Q!"

Q came walking in wearing a waiter's uniform and carrying pizza. "I HAD to make that bet with him!"

"Shuttup, Immortal slave!"

Ha! PWN'd by a geek!

Anyway, next chapter will be up soon!


	2. Q VS Geeks

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN STAR TREK!

Dylan, Q, and Allen are sitting around at Dylan's house.

"You pathetically primitive beings. I'll never understand why anyone puts up with you…. Humans."

"Oh, come one, Q," Allen said, "If it weren't for us, where would you be without cable TV?"

"I'd be living in peace eternally without belittling myself by destroying your starships and your spirits."

"Oh……" there was a pause. "Okay."

"We invented pizza, though." Dylan added.

"I'm feeling rather depressed." Q told them. "Leave me be or I'll wipe you off the face of the galaxy. Well, I probably will anyway, but this gives you a better chance of not being _completely_ destroyed.

Allen, bored, climbed into his Starship that had randomly appeared there. "Helm, full power to the Warp Drive, set to any course, just get us the heck outta here." Right before the ship went into full power, he screamed, "Hey, Q! Look at the tail end of my warp drive!"

WOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

"Oh, obnoxious humans…. I may destroy them anyway."

Dylan hit Q on the head with a newspaper. "BAD Q!"

Q flashed away and back again.

"I have gone back in time, and altered the terms of our bet to make sure I won. Now _you _owe me _your _eternal soul."

"No, I don't." Dylan insisted.

"That was one of the terms of the deal that I altered."

"The contract clearly states that he who alters the timeline must sit in the corner for five minutes."

"Time is relative. I have already done my time in the corner." He then formed an accent like Scotty's. "You cannot change the laws of physics, Jim!"

"You suck."

"I know you are, but what am I?" Q argued.

"That doesn't even make sense!"

"Of course not, but you're a monkey anyway." He snapped his fingers. "Now you really ARE a monkey."

"This is some good stuff! I gotta write it down!"

Q snapped his fingers, and all writing material disappeared. "Where's your pen an notepad?"

"On a KEYBOARD, you moron!"

Q snapped again and the keyboard disappeared.

"I still have one!" Dylan pulled an extra keyboard out of nowhere.

"No," Q informed him, "That's a bomb. You're certain to detonate in five seconds. Now I shall leave you be."

Q disappeared.

"Oh, #%*." Dylan said, right before everything went up in smokes. Allen then sent voicemail over the instant messenger.

"Hey, Dylan, it's Allen. What's up over there?" he waited a moment, and got a message. "I'm getting a detonation message from the messenger here. It seems both you and your computer have been destroyed by an unknown force. Have fun with that. I'll go break into the pentagon."

Wow, a Star Trek character defeated a nerd! But Allen will probably find a loophole.

And now, an advertisement from the Q-Continuum!

Q : Are you an android that wants emotions but doesn't have them?

Data: Yes, it would appear I am.

Q: Are you a Vulcan that has emotions but doesn't want them?

Spock: A logical way to say it.

Q: Are you an old, bald guy who for some reason attracts young, hot women?

Picard: Yes, but I don't really see a problem there, Q.

Q: Then get Cheeri-Q's! They're like Cheerio's, but have a little tail at the end! They're even low on calories!

Cheeri-Q's! Part of this nutritious breakfast! (Shows a breakfast with a bag of sugar, ice cream, a gallon bottle of soda, and bowl of Cheeri-Q's with chocolate milk inside it)

Talking Bee: Bee happy, bee health- (Smacked by a flyswatter)

Q: Shuttup, insect!


	3. PrankCalling Star Ships!

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek, Star Wars, Avatar, or Cherrio's.

Q walks into the room, where Dylan, Allen, and their friend Nelson are.

"Well, since the rest of the universe is even more boring right now than you are… What are you mindless apes doing?"

"Not much." Dylan said, "Prank calling people."

"Prank calls? Let me do one! I have all of the Enterprise crews in my cell!"

"Let's call Data!" Allen said. "Cell phone, call Data and block Q's number."

"Oh, my phone has no caller ID." Q said. "And even better, it's not blocked by those humorless business owners that don't allow unknown callers."

"I think I love you." Dylan commented.

The phone started calling Data.

"Oooh, let me lead this one!" Allen said.

"Oh, sure," Q said sarcastically, "Let the computer nerd handle the walking computer."

"No, really. Commander Data is an amazing piece of technology. It'll be fun!"

The phone rang a few times. After several seconds, a polite voice said, "Hello, Data residence, Data speaking."

Allen took on a deep, raspy fake voice and said, "Data!! I KNOW you have the Package!!"

"I do not know what you are talking about. Who is this?"

"You DO know what I'm talking about, Data! You have the Package! You hid the Package in your favorite easel the last time you were painting!!"

"I will check."

The four guys chuckled as they waited for Data.

"I want to do the next one!" Nelson said.

"No way! I have too many plans in my mind for you to ruin the calls with your Nelson-ness." Dylan said.

"Ssssshhh! Guys, he's coming back!"

"I did not see anything in my easle." Data said.

"Uuuhhh….. Check again."

"Okay."

"It's like fooling a gullible little kid!" Allen said.

"Oooh, give it to me!" Dylan took the phone. "Hey, Data! Deanna Troi told me that she wanted you to make out with her next time you saw her."

"Why?"

"She told me that you must have burned your hard drive out, 'cuz you are hot." Everyone looked at him funny. "What? I'm quoting."

"Okay, if she wishes for me to swap my robotic spit with her, I shall."

"We'll call you back later to ask how it went." Dylan hung the phone up. Once he did, they all started laughing.

"Okay, Okay," Dylan said, "This time we work at Walmart. We have a special sail on lady's underwear. Who should we call?"

"Lady's underwear?" Allen was horrified. "I'm out."

"Sissy." Q mumbled under his breath.

"We should call Spock." Nelson said.

The phone dialed, until an answer was heard.

"Hello, this is Spock. I cannot come to the phone right now, so please leave a message after the Live Long and Prosper. Live Long and Prosper."

"Um, hello," Nelson said. "We are selling…" after that, he couldn't stop laughing.

"Time for the label, Q." Dylan whispered.

The screen for the fanfiction paused on Nelson. Big words and a deep voice say, "EPIC FAIL."

"I hate you guys." Nelson said.

"Let me do one!" Q said. He called Captain Jean-Luc Picard.

"Hello?" Picard asked.

"Never gonna give you up!" Q sung, sounding just like Rick Astley. "Never gonna let you down! Never gonna run around and desert you!"

"Oh, I HATE Rick Rolls! I thought that there was a new preview for the Avatar movie, and it turned out it was a Rick Roll!" Picard started to cry, but then got angry. "PEOPLE LIKE YOU DISGUST ME!" Then he hung up, and Dylan, Nelson, and Q started laughing.

"Let's call Chekov!" Dylan said. "The one from the new movie!"

"Hello, Ensign Chekov speaking."

"Wicktor Wicktor!" Mocked Dylan.

"Why do you people keep harassing me?!"

"Can I speak to your bestest friend ever, Sulu?" Nelson asked.

" 'Bestest Friend' ? Where is everyone getting this?! I barely know the guy!"

"Oh, yeah. That's other reality Chekov." Q told Nelson.

Dylan then spoke up again. "There was a hamster in Captain Underpants named Sulu! He was robotic and could shoot evil boogers all the way to Uranus with watermelon seeds!"

Everyone stared at him, until Chekov broke the silence.

"The Sulu I know can do the same thing!"

Announcer: Are you a die-hard Star Trek fan?

Person: Yeah!

Announcer: Do you like to pretend that you are the captain of the Enterprise?

Person: Yes!

Announcer: Do you go to Star Wars conventions dressed as Spock just to make people mad?

Person: YEAH!!!!!!!!

Announcer: Then I have the product for you! It's called…. A Life!

Person: A life? People keep telling me to get one, but I don't know how!

Announcer: You can order it! With the life you can get a job, kiss a girl, and even make yourself a productive member of society!

Person: Wow!

Announcer: And you can get one, all for twelve easy payments of 49.99 plus shipping and handling! And wait! Order now, and we'll give you a FREE box of Cherri-Q's! Just add 90 bucks to your purchase!

Person: That's great I'm gonna get a life now!


	4. Fixing the Alternate Timeline

"Ugh, I wish I had a transporter device." Q said in boredom.

"You're a transporter device." Mumbled Dylan.

"Your face is a transporter device."

"Your face is a transporter device."

"Your mom is a transporter device."

…

"Sorry, did I go too far?"

"Guys!" Allen walked in. "You know how the 2009 movie changed the reality of Star Trek?"

"Yeah…"

"Well, Data doesn't exist!"

"What?" Dylan gasped. "Data has to exist!"

"How did that happen?" Q was inclined to ask.

"Well," Allen started, "You know that transporter accident Scotty made?"

"Yeah."

"So?"

"It didn't actually kill the dog, but the dog was trapped in the transporter ray for almost 80 years. Dr. Noonien Soong found him, and decided to give up on robot building to take care of puppies!"

"No! DATA!"

"I don't care." Q said.

"We need to travel into the future and stop Nero."

"Yeah!" a random trekkie said. "Data is the best on the show!"

"And he's sooo sexeh lolololol" said a girl trekkie.

"Omigosh a girl!"

"… They started liking Star Trek because of Spock."

They all get into a time machine.

Meanwhile, in the future…

"It is I, Lieutenant Commander Lore."

"Why did we hire a psycho sociopathic android again?" Crusher asked Riker.

"Because, we thought an android would be cool."

"I wish that there was a better android…"

Dylan, Allen, Q, and the two trekkies show up on the ship.

"Aw, we traveled in too early!" Allen said.

"Way too early." Dylan said. "It feels like Season 1!" He then installed brighter lights and shot Tasha. "That's better!"

"I like that guy." Lore said.

Councilor Troi walked in. "I am feeling overwhelming emotions of… things I'd rather not say." Troi stated as she stared at all but one of the transported.

"Out of the way, Troi!" Dylan said. "I can't see anything important."

"Those computers are so cool!" Allen gushed.

"Well, at least one of the feelings isn't directed at me. Alright, cut!"

Marina Sitris started to complain. "Look, we're professionals traveling space. These outfits you're making me wear are ridiculous."

"Shut up and look pretty." Gene said.

The trekkie stared on at this.

Nero appeared on the ship. "I must destroy the one known as Q!"

"Um… No." Q said.

"Nero, you are so cool," Dylan told him, "but you need therapy."

"I'll give him therapy!" Troi volunteered.

"Best. Therapy. Ever." The trekkie said.

"Are we going anywhere with this?" Lore asked.

Data walked in. "Sir, the trekkies have found my way back into existence.

"Yes!" Allen said, then hugged Data.

"Why don't I ever get hugged?" Lore moped.

"You're mean," Allen explained, "And you kill people."

"I'll hug you!" Nero screamed.

"Computer," Allen said, "Code 14."

Nero and Lore then beamed somewhere, and the code made them explode.

"Not Nero!" Dylan explained.

The alternate timeline ceased to exist, and the 2009 movie became uncanon.

Wesley Crusher ran in. "Guys, I think –"

"Shuttup, Wesley!"

Wil Wheaton shows up. "Hey, everyone! I'd like to tell you about –"

"Shuttup, Wesley!"

"I'm not Wesley! I'm Wil Wheaton!"

"Oh."

"Okay."

"That's cool."


End file.
